Finding Balance as a Family Caregiver: 10 Practical Ways to Protect Your Well-Being

Olatunji Taylor
Dec 6, 2025
8 min read

Family caregiving is one of the most meaningful roles a person can take on—and one of the most exhausting.

Whether you’re caring for an aging parent, a partner with a chronic illness, or a child with special needs, you’re likely juggling appointments, medications, meals, finances, and emotions… all while trying to keep the rest of your life afloat.

Many family caregivers say things like, “I feel guilty when I’m not with them.” “I’m exhausted, but I don’t know how to slow down.” “I don’t even recognize myself anymore.”

If you’re searching for ways to support your loved one without losing yourself, this post is for you.

1. Recognize That Caregiving Is work.

One of the greatest barriers to caregiver self-care is the belief that “I’m just helping family.” In reality, family caregiving is physically demanding (lifting, bathing, cleaning, transporting), emotionally demanding (worry, grief, frustration, fear), and mentally demanding (appointments, medication schedules, insurance, and decisions).

Treating caregiving as real work changes how you see your needs. You wouldn’t expect a nurse or a professional caregiver to work 24/7 without breaks. You shouldn’t expect that of yourself either. When you name caregiving as work, you feel more justified asking for help, you see rest as necessary, not selfish, and you can talk more clearly with family and healthcare providers about what you’re actually doing.

Practical step: Write down everything you do in a typical day for your loved one—every task, big or small. Seeing it on paper can validate your effort and help others understand why you’re exhausted.

2. Let Go of the “Perfect Caregiver” Myth

Many caregivers impose unattainable expectations on themselves. They say things like, “I must be patient all the time.” “I should never feel resentful.” “If I really love them, I’ll do it all myself.” These beliefs are not only unrealistic—they’re harmful. They set you up for guilt, shame, and burnout.

Recognizing that you can love someone deeply and still feel overwhelmed, that you can be committed and still need time away, that you can do your best and still have challenging days, and that caregiving is not a test you pass or fail but rather an ongoing relationship in an imperfect, real-life situation is a more realistic mindset.

Practical step: When you notice harsh self-talk (“I’m failing,” “I shouldn’t feel this way”), pause and reframe it: Instead of “I should handle this moment better,” try “This is challenging, and I’m doing the best I can today.” Write that phrase somewhere you’ll see it often.

3. Build a Small, Realistic Self-Care Routine

Self-care doesn’t have to mean spa days or long vacations (though those are beneficial). For caregivers, self-care often looks like small, consistent habits that recharge you a little at a time.

A helpful way to approach self-care is to think in terms of “micro-self-care,” aiming for tiny practices you can realistically fit into your day—such as taking 3 deep breaths before entering your loved one’s room, doing 5 minutes of stretching in the morning or before bed, drinking a full glass of water with each medication round, stepping outside for fresh air once a day even for 2 minutes, or listening to your favorite song while doing chores—because although these may seem too small to matter, they add up and signal to your body and brain, “My needs matter too.”

Practical step: Choose one small self-care habit to start this week. Tie it to something you already do (for example, “Every time I make their coffee, I drink water and stretch for 2 minutes”).

4. Protect Your Physical Health

Caregivers often ignore their health until something breaks—back pain, high blood pressure, insomnia, or constant colds. But your health is not optional; it’s part of your caregiving plan.

Focus on four basics:

Sleep (as much as you can reasonably get): When it comes to sleep (as much as you can reasonably get), try to keep your bed and wake times as consistent as possible, and if nighttime care is intense, consider sharing night shifts with another family member or ask the healthcare team if respite options are available.
Movement: When it comes to movement, you don’t need a gym—simple activities like walking in the hallway, doing a few squats while the kettle boils, or stretching during TV commercials all count.
Food & hydration: When it comes to food and hydration, caregivers often skip meals or rely on snacks, so try to keep simple, healthy options on hand—like nuts, yogurt, cut fruit, boiled eggs, or soup—and set reminders to drink water, since dehydration can worsen fatigue and headaches.
Medical checkups: When it comes to medical checkups, try not to cancel your appointments for theirs—your body is part of the caregiving equation too.

Practical step: Please arrange a health-related appointment for yourself within the next month, such as a check-up, dental visit, or flu shot. Put it on the calendar like it’s not optional—because it isn’t.

5. Ask for and accept help (even if it's awkward).

Many caregivers say, “People offered to help at first, but then it faded,” or “I don’t even know what to ask for.”

Many individuals lack the knowledge of how to assist, even if they genuinely care; however, you can facilitate their efforts by providing clear and specific guidance. For example, you might say, “Could you stay with Mom for two hours on Saturday so I can run errands?”, “Can you bring over a meal once a month?”, or “Could you be the one who handles communication with extended family so I don’t have to update everyone?”

If friends or family live far away, they can still support you by ordering groceries or meal delivery, helping manage bills or paperwork online, or scheduling appointments and researching local resources. As you learn to accept help, if you start to feel guilty, remind yourself that accepting assistance keeps you going longer, can actually improve your loved one’s care, and provides others a chance to contribute and feel useful.

Practical step: Make a list of five tasks you would be comfortable letting someone else do. The next time someone says, “Please let me know if you need anything,” pick one from the list and ask directly.

6. Set Boundaries With Love

Boundaries are not walls; they’re guidelines that protect you, your loved one, and your relationship. Some caregivers feel trapped between what their loved one wants and what they can realistically provide. Without boundaries, resentment grows, and emotional distance can develop.

Common caregiver boundaries might include time boundaries, such as saying, “I can stay until 7 p.m., then I need to go home,” contact boundaries with other relatives, like, “I can’t answer calls after 9 p.m., but I’ll respond the next day,” and task boundaries, for example, “I can manage the medications and meals, but I can’t also handle all the house repairs.” You can set these boundaries both gently and firmly by saying something like, “I love you, and I want to support you. I also need to take care of my health, so here’s what I can realistically do.”

Practical step: Identify one area where you feel stretched thin. Draft a simple boundary statement about what you can do and what you can’t. It's important to express your feelings clearly before sharing them.

7. Stay connected to your life and identity.

Caregiving can swallow your identity. You were a whole person before this role: a friend, partner, parent, worker, artist, volunteer, and neighbor. Those parts still matter.

Losing your sense of self can lead to depression or numbness, feelings of isolation, and difficulty imagining life beyond caregiving.

Ways to maintain your identity as a caregiver include keeping at least one activity that is yours alone—such as reading, crafting, gardening, gaming, participating in a faith community or hobby group, or having a regular phone call with a friend—staying in touch with at least one person who asks about you and not only about your loved one, and remembering that it’s acceptable to feel joy, laugh, or have fun, even when things are hard at home. You are allowed to be more than a caregiver.

Practical step: Think of one activity that made you feel like yourself before caregiving. Can you bring a small piece of it back—maybe once a week, even for 30 minutes?

8. Use Community and Professional Resources

You do not have to carry this alone. Many regions have support systems for family caregivers, though they can be challenging to find or navigate.

Possible resources include caregiver support groups (in person or online) where you can share experiences, vent, and learn from others; respite care services that provide short-term breaks through agencies, senior centers, or community programs; and social workers or case managers who can help with benefits, housing, or long-term planning. You might also look into disease-specific organizations (for dementia, cancer, stroke, etc.) that offer education, hotlines, or local chapters, as well as faith or community groups that may assist with meals, visits, or transportation. Using these resources doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re using every tool available to care for someone you love.

Practical step: Set a small research goal: look up one local or online caregiver resource and write down the contact info. You don't need to use it now; just knowing it exists can be comforting.

9. Recognize and process your emotions.

Caregiving stirs up a complicated mix of emotions: love and tenderness, frustration, anger or resentment, grief for the person your loved one used to be, fear about the future, and guilt for every moment you’re not there or every time you lose your temper. These feelings are normal; what becomes harmful is pretending they aren’t there.

Healthy ways to process these emotions include journaling or recording voice memos when you’re overwhelmed, talking to a trusted friend who can listen without judgment, joining a support group where others “get it” without long explanations, and seeking counseling or therapy, especially if you notice ongoing sadness, anxiety, or anger. You are not required to be “strong” at all times—occasionally, true strength manifests as acknowledging, “This is too much for me to bear alone.”

Practical step: Choose one outlet for your emotions: a notebook, a friend, a group, or a professional. Set a small goal, like “I’ll write for 5 minutes before bed twice this week” or “I’ll text one friend and be honest about how I’m doing.”

10. Plan for the Future Without Losing Today

Many caregivers live in constant “what ifs”: What if their condition worsens? What if I can’t keep this up? What if they need 24-hour care? While these worries are understandable, living entirely in the future can steal whatever peace exists in the present.

A balanced approach to caregiving includes having some practical conversations, such as speaking with healthcare providers about what to expect and, if possible, discussing legal and financial planning with your loved one, including wills, powers of attorney, and healthcare directives. It also involves breaking down significant fears into smaller, actionable steps; for instance, rather than asking, “What if they need a nursing home?” you could begin with, “I’ll gather information about local facilities or home-care options, even if we never need them.”

After planning, gently bring your attention back to the present day and ask yourself, “What do we need right now?” and, “Is there a small moment of connection or comfort I can create today?”

Practical step: Pick one future-related task (like gathering a list of care options or talking to a doctor about progression). Pair it with one present-focused action (sharing a favorite meal, looking at old photos together, listening to music).

Balancing caregiving and self-care isn’t about splitting your time into perfect 50/50 compartments. Some days, caregiving will take nearly everything you have. Other days, you may be able to breathe a little more.

What matters is the overall direction: moving away from self-neglect and toward a more sustainable, compassionate balance—for both you and your loved one.

To learn more, explore the resources provided below:

Schulz, R., & Sherwood, P. R. (2008). Physical and mental health effects of family caregiving. The American Journal of Nursing, 108(9, Suppl), 23–27. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.NAJ.0000336406.45248.4c

Pinquart, M., & Sörensen, S. (2007). Correlates of physical health of informal caregivers: A meta-analysis. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B, 62(2), P126–P137. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/62.2.P126